"I'm catholic and I love sex. I'm going to hell."
- Linsey Moses



"Who is Z-Jesus, Alex?"
- Jeny Clausen



"We go way back like a lounge chair."
- Natalie Swensen



"You should post a naked picture of yourself (on craigslist) and be like 'Live with this.'"
- Lance Hough



"I'll have to go meet my future in-laws."
- Kristen Bechtel, on my parents being in the restaurant.



"Life isn't worth living without hockey."
- Stephanie



"Give a 'Bwaaaout' to Adam and BT for me."
- Jeremy "Stoob" Stuber



"It looks like January...but no, April rent is due in a couple of days. Crap, gotta write that check."
- Meg Abplanalp



"I guess he'll only have to take a 15 minute break."
- Adam Einsohn, on a co-worker who habitually takes extra long 15-minute breaks



"Music comes from the soul. From the heart. From deep within parts of us that we don't even know exist. So to all these pop stars who don't have anything but a pretty voice... that's not music. Period."
- J.K. Gover



"As long as my kids are born healthy I don't care. But then again, who says 'Oh God! I hope my baby is born with Downs!'?"
- Lance Hough



"What I want to see is when the (Cribs) cameras are turned off and the rapper says, 'But I'm empty inside.'"
- Mike Birbiglia



"Look. It's me when Erin wants to have sex."
- Chris DeJesus, while holding up a limp onion ring.


"(Sean Penn) played a father who lost his kid. That's original! You're supposed to win an Oscar for acting! How many fuckin' pirates do you see?!"
- Lisa Hough, on Johnny Depp not winning the 2003 Academy Award for Best Actor.



"She's good. It's great baby-makin' music."
- Adam Einsohn, on Tristan Prettyman



"You feel bad? Why am I even here?!"
- Rashawn Inglemon, the resident player, on a co-worker feeling bad for choosing one girl over another.



"Why? You and your bitch gonna see how much (wine) you can drink?"
- Lisa Hough when told she could get my "wine watch" case after she gets back from her trip.



"All black people in the band except Carter aren't allowed to sing."
- Leslie Lookabill, on Dave Matthews Band voilinst Boyd Tinsley trying to sing backup on Everyday.



"Don't call me Mr. Right. Call me Mr. Right Now."
- Rashawn Inglemon



"You like to show off your tits and I like to show off my bullets. What's the difference?"
- Brian Thomas



"We don't have to go see Mount Rushmore. Fuck it! I can see President's faces on money."
- Megan Abplanalp


"We have all four seasons here. We have hot, fuckin' hot, cold and fuckin' cold."
- Megan Abplanalp




"I have been to more colleges than most people have had sexual partners."
- Shawna Healey


"I need to be just Jenna for a while. It might be kinda lonely but hey... there's always chat rooms."
- Jenna Heath


"She doesn't want him playing poker because she's afraid of him losing all his money. It's not her decision to make. It's his money. So she likes to read. That'd be like saying 'I don't want your eyes to go bad so I only want you reading two chapters a week.'"
- Brian Thomas


"It sounds cheesy, but I think it's awesome that our lives have a soundtrack."
- Chelsea Carta


"Are you kidding? We are the party."
- Rachelle Bermingham


"Do we get the 'I.K.J.K. Special?'" (I Know J.K.)
- Nichelle Burdick




*** MORE TO COME ***